If your baby consistently starts crying every time you begin the bedtime routine or enter the bedroom, this blog aims to provide you with some clarity regarding the possible reasons behind this behaviour and hopefully we can implement some strategies!
Why is my baby crying when I start the bedtime routine or enter their bedroom?
One of the primary reasons for your baby crying during the bedtime routine or upon entering the bedroom is that they are starting to connect the dots. As they grow older, they begin to understand and recognise the correlation between certain events. In this case, they associate the bedroom with sleep time. Despite the tears and tantrums, this signifies a significant milestone achieved by your baby.
Other contributing factors may include the need to adjust bedtime or your baby being either under or overtired.
Now that we know why this is happening, what can we do?
Make the bedroom a positive space
To transform your baby's negative association with their bedroom into a positive space, it's important to create a balance between fun and sleep. While the primary purpose of the room is for sleep, you can make it a positive and engaging environment during daytime activities.
During the day, engage in enjoyable activities in their room. Keep the room well-lit to convey that it's not sleep time. You can incorporate simple and fun activities such as singing songs, reading books, playing peek-a-boo, or playing with their favourite toys.
By incorporating these elements, you can gradually help your little one view their bedroom as a positive and inviting space, while still maintaining its intended purpose for sleep. Don't put them in their cot during this time for any reason. They should only be placed into the cot when it's time for sleep.
Adjust your bedtime routine
A bedtime routine is a great way to promote sleep and trigger that sleep is near, but sometimes it can be too rushed or too long. A reasonable length is anywhere between 30 - 40 minutes.
➞ Here's an example of a routine I always suggest.
◦ Bath/Wipe down
◦ Nappy and Pj's
◦ Milk feed
◦ Story/Lullaby
◦ Place in cot awake
◦ Lots of kisses and say goodnight
◦ Ensure blinds are down for darkness and white noise is on
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Avoid under or overtiredness
Are you concerned about whether your baby is sleeping too much or not enough during the day? It's important to find the right balance between wake windows and total day sleep for optimal rest. To help you navigate this, here's a guide to follow.
➞ Wake windows ◦ 0 - 4 weeks = 30/45 – 60 minutes
◦ 4 – 12 weeks = 60 – 90 minutes
◦ 12 – 16 weeks = 75 – 120 minutes
◦ 4 – 7/8 months = 2 – 3 hours
◦ 8 – 12/14 months = 3 – 4 hours
◦ 12/13 – 24 months = 4 – 6 hours
➞ Total day sleep ◦ Newborns = 5 – 9 hours
◦ 7 – 12 months = 3 – 4.5 hours
◦ 7 – 12 months = 2.5 – 3 hours
◦ 13 – 24 months = 1.5 – 3 hours
If you find it difficult to expand your child's wake windows, taking them outside can be helpful. Sunlight exposure can provide a natural energy boost because the sunlight suppresses melatonin production(the sleep hormone). Additionally, the outdoor environment can provide sensory stimulation with its vibrant colors and soothing sounds of nature, helping to keep your little one alert and engaged.
Do you need help?
If you're experiencing ongoing tears and sleep struggles with your baby, I have the perfect tools and resources to assist you. I offer a downloadable sleep guide and optional plans that provide valuable guidance and support to help you establish consistent naps and achieve 10-12 hour nights of sleep. Click here to access the 4-24 month sleep guide and plans that can help address your concerns.
Written by Alexandra Selekos I'm the founder of Babee Dreams, a certified sleep consultant and a mum of three. My approach is based on studies, training through The Sleep Consulting Academy, successful outcomes experienced by those who have used my methods and the instincts of a mother. My approach will help your baby achieve their best sleep, whilst always feeling reassured, loved and never neglected.