Nightmares

Nightmares are an unsettling experience and these vivid, frightening dreams can disrupt their sleep, leaving both toddlers and parents feeling anxious. However, understanding the nature of nightmares and how to manage them can help provide comfort and support during these disturbances. In this blog post, we'll explore what nightmares are, why they happen, and offer practical tips for helping your toddler cope with them.

At what age do nightmares start?

Nightmares typically begin to emerge around the age of 2 years old, although they can occasionally manifest as early as 18 months. This timing corresponds with the development of a child's imagination. At this stage, toddlers can struggle to differentiate between reality and their dreams, which can lead to the fear of the dark and the onset of nightmares.

Why don't babies have nightmares?

Babies don't fear the dark primarily because they haven't yet developed the vivid imagination to fear the dark. It's very unlikely that when your baby is crying when they're meant to be sleeping, it's due to a nightmare. If you're facing sleep struggles with your baby, it's essential to understand that it might be due to other various factors. If you're seeking guidance to improve your baby's sleep, a good place to start is by reading my 0 - 3 month sleep guide or the 4 - 24 month sleep guide (depending on their age, select the specific guide for their age range). If you're interested in both guides, you can purchase them together at a discounted rate.

Factors that bring on nightmares

Several factors can contribute to the occurrence of nightmares in toddlers. Here's a list of some common triggers:

Stress or anxiety: Changes in routine, many things introduced at the same time, family dynamics, or other stressors can contribute to nightmares.

Exposure to scary content: What they see or read can become ingrained in their mind, potentially igniting their imagination, especially during the night when they have fewer distractions.

Over or under tired: When your toddler becomes overtired, it can trigger the release of stress hormones in their body, potentially heightening anxieties such as fear of the dark. Conversely, if your toddler is not tired enough at bedtime, it may result in them lying in bed with their imagination racing as they attempt to drift off to sleep.

What to do if they're afraid of the dark and start having nightmares

Introduce a night light

Introducing a night light, especially one with a soft red glow, can be a great idea for your toddler's room. Red night lights provide just enough illumination to help your child see in the dark, find comfort, and ease their fear without interfering with the production of melatonin (the sleep hormone). To learn more about the benefits of red night lights, you can read the blog post "Red Night Light."

The content they read and watch

Pay close attention to the content your little one reads and watches on electronic devices. If you notice signs of fear or uneasiness in their reactions (for example, they may become restless or anxious, and may hide their face), it's advisable to avoid these things that could lead to nightmares.

Review their sleep needs

Review your toddler's schedule to ensure they are meeting their sleep needs. Consider factors such as the total amount of sleep they're getting, the number of naps they require, and whether their wake windows are appropriately timed, not too long or too short.

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Limiting screen time before bedtime can reduce nightmares by minimising exposure to potentially scary content. I usually suggest and hour before bedtime.

Change their perspective of the dark

Try to shift the idea that the dark is scary to be a safe and cozy space where they can have pleasant dreams. This positive outlook can help diminish their fear of the dark and make bedtime a more peaceful experience. Some fun things you can do to make the dark more positive: ◦ Do bath time with a very dim night light (supervising the entire time)

◦ Go into a dark room with glowsticks and wave them around

◦ Build a fort and make it dark, use a flashlight under the sheets

◦ Read in a dark room with a flashlight

◦ Hide stuffed toys in dark rooms and play hide-and-seek trying to find them together

What steps to take when they have a nightmare

While the instinct to immediately pick up your crying toddler when they're scared, it's important to be mindful that rushing into their dark room may inadvertently intensify their fear. Bringing them into your bed has two potential downsides: firstly, it conveys the message that their room is a scary place they should escape from when frightened, and secondly, it unintentionally reinforces a new habit, such as co-sleeping, which may not be your desired long-term sleeping arrangement. Instead, try to remain calm and enter their room using a gentle voice and comforting words. I would suggest picking them up and giving them a warm hug and a lengthy cuddle to instil a sense of security. Throughout this, continue to remind them that their room is a safe place, and when they are calm, gently return them to their bed.

When do nightmares usually happen in the night?

Nightmares tend to occur during the later part of the night, typically in the early morning hours, during the rapid eye movement (REM) sleep phase. This is when dreams are often more vivid.

Difference between nightmares and night terrors

Nightmares and night terrors are different. Nightmares, as discussed earlier, are distressing dreams that occur during REM (rapid eye movement) sleep and often they remember these dreams. Night terrors, on the other hand, occur during non-REM sleep and are characterised by sudden awakenings accompanied by intense fear, screaming, and physical agitation. Unlike nightmares, children typically have no recollection of night terrors and may not respond to comfort during an episode.

Understanding the difference between these two can help you respond appropriately when your toddler experiences a nightmare or terror. When it's evident your toddler is having a night terror, it can be distressing, but it's important to approach it differently from a nightmare as addressed earlier. Stay calm and composed while witnessing the episode, despite the night terror being intense. It's best not to wake them as they are in a deep stage of sleep, and waking them can make them more disoriented and agitated. Night terrors typically last for a few minutes, and while it might seem like an eternity, they will usually settle down on their own. If night terrors become a regular occurrence and significantly affect your toddler's sleep, it's wise to consult a pediatrician for further guidance.

Are they waking in the night and it's not a nightmare?

Have you ruled our nightmares and your toddler is still struggling with sleep? I have the perfect tools and resources to help you! I have guides and optional plans that can give you that one-on-one support you need to help achieve 10-12 hour nights and put an end to all or most sleep struggles.

Written by Alexandra Selekos I'm the founder of Babee Dreams, a certified sleep consultant and a mum of three. My approach is based on studies, training through The Sleep Consulting Academy, successful outcomes experienced by those who have used my methods and the instincts of a mother. My approach will help your baby achieve their best sleep, whilst always feeling reassured, loved and never neglected.