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Is your toddler turning bedtime into a marathon with their constant trips out of bed? It's a common struggle for many parents when their toddler transitions to a bed, but understanding why it's happening is the first step towards finding a solution. In this blog, we'll explore the reasons and offer practical tips to help your little one stay put when it's time to sleep.
Reasons and Solutions
Toddlers are curious creatures, and the newfound freedom of being able to roam their room can be both exhilarating and disruptive. Here are my top reasons and solutions:
Cot to bed transition
Transitioning a toddler out of their cot too early can potentially lead to new or worse sleep problems. I recommend waiting until they are around 2.5 years old before making the move. The reason being is that toddlers younger than this age often don't grasp commands like "stay in bed," which can result in bedtime battles and disruptions to their sleep routine. Signs that they're ready for the transition include:
◦ Climbing out of the cot
◦ Expressing a desire for a bed
◦ Simply outgrowing the cot in size or weight capacity
To ease this transition, consider using a sleeping bag to restrict movement or other safety measures. It's crucial to note that transitioning to a bed won't necessarily solve existing sleep issues, such as frequent awakenings or struggling to fall asleep without assistance, which can still persist even after the switch. Therefore, it's important to address underlying sleep problems separately from the transition process itself. My 4 -24 month sleep guide can help with these issues if you're needing some help and guidance.
But what if you've already done the transition?
Reason: If they started climbing out around the time of transitioning from a cot to a bed, it's evident that it's due to the newfound freedom associated with having no bars and easy access out of the bed.
Solution: This phase should naturally pass with time as they adjust to the change. However, if these behaviours become a persistent habit, they could potentially develop into a long-term problem if not addressed.
Sleep pressure
Reason: Is your toddler getting enough sleep throughout the day? Ensuring they have adequate "sleep pressure" can make it easier for them to settle down at bedtime.
Solution: Ensure your toddler's sleep schedule aligns with their age and developmental stage. It's important to fill their "sleep bucket" before bedtime, ensuring they are tired enough. What is the sleep bucket? It’s like a bucket that fills up with your little one’s need for sleep throughout the day. When the bucket is filled, it's easier for them to fall asleep for naps and nights. Adjusting their schedule helps ensure the bucket is just right for a better sleep. If you need a sleep schedule, send an email to info@babeedreams.com. Please include your little one's current age and one of our sleep consultants will respond with a schedule created by Babee Dreams for that specific age.
Overtired
Reason: Overtiredness in toddlers is a common issue that arises when they've been awake for an extended period, surpassing their optimal wake window. This state occurs when the time between sleeps becomes too lengthy for them to handle. A common contribution to this is parents eliminate naps altogether around this age, when toddlers still require a nap until around 3 to 4 years old, sometimes even as early as 2.5 years old. When toddlers become overtired, the stress hormone cortisol is released into their brain, making it challenging for them to settle down and fall asleep. Additionally, overtiredness can manifest as hyperactivity and may eventually lead to a significant meltdown.
Solution: The solution lies in understanding that toddlers still need a midday nap, even if it's just a short 30-minute cat nap. By ensuring they get adequate rest during the day, you can help prevent overtiredness.
Developmental milestones (sleep regression)
Reason: The two significant developmental milestones around the time toddlers transition to a bed are separation anxiety and the fear of the dark. If crying and getting out of bed occur, it could be due to these two reasons. Separation anxiety happens because bedtime is the longest duration they don’t see you.
Solution: Make sure to reassure them that you're nearby and respond to their cries. Another great way to ease separation anxiety is to play peek-a-boo during the day, this helps them learn in a fun way, that when you’re out of sight you still exist. The fear of the dark typically arises around 24 months when toddlers start developing a vivid imagination. Consider introducing a red night light, as it doesn't suppress melatonin production. These all point towards the 24 month sleep regression and for more tips on this, read this blog.
Wind down and bedtime
Reason: Are they over-stimulated before bed or exposed to screens, such as TVs, tablets, or smartphones close to bedtime? This can interfere with the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone that helps us fall asleep and stay asleep, as blue light suppresses this hormone.
Solution: Do they have a bedtime routine? It’s important to have a consistent bedtime routine every night, lasting 30-40 minutes; longer than this can be draining for them, and any shorter can make them feel rushed, which can interfere with the "winding down" process and result in an opposite effect. Bedtime routines also help signal that the "long night sleep" is approaching.
Pushing boundaries
Reason: A this age, they have a strong personality and can really test boundaries - which is actually a great and positive milestone. The theory of just riding it out and hoping they eventually stop tends to fail and not work. This results in them becoming overtired, which doesn’t help them fall asleep; it has the opposite effect and keeps them awake longer, creating a vicious cycle of overtiredness. This can lead to a very late bedtime and perhaps a grumpy toddler.
Solution: At bedtime, explain in a short sentence, "stay in bed." Babies before 2.5-3 years old don't understand the concept, and that's why transitions to a toddler bed should happen around this age.
They still won't stay in bed, what can I do?
A method I've personally used with my own children and clients is to remain in the room. Sit in the dark, far away, and the moment they start chit-chatting, say "shhh" to them. If they start making movements, say "stay in bed" or "get back in bed." Most of the time they quickly hop back into sleep position. Many parents think that because you're in the room, they won't sleep, but most of the time, it works a treat. Night one can be a bit lengthy, but you'll find each night gets better, and sometimes the behaviour can stop the very next night. Another approach is to repeatedly enter the room after a few minutes and gently guide your child back to their bed. It's important to tuck them in each time and then quietly leave the room. If you need some help I have the tools and resources to help you. I have guides and optional plans that can give you the one-on-one support you need. If you're interested in scheduling a phone consultation to discuss a plan, we can schedule that here.
Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your healthcare provider for personalised guidance regarding your baby's health and well-being, Babee Dreams does not give medical advice.
Written by Alexandra Selekos I'm the founder of Babee Dreams, a certified sleep consultant and a mum of three. My approach is based on studies, training through The Sleep Consulting Academy, successful outcomes experienced by those who have used my methods and the instincts of a mother. My approach will help your baby achieve their best sleep, whilst always feeling reassured, loved and never neglected.